you are outside friend, second-best. a phone with internet
and not a single person you could chat with.
she brings you over to her bonfire, you are shaky hand
holding too-thin punch. everyone sits so close to each other
that their breathing matches pace. you stand
rather than get in the way.
you see her and feel sunrise but you know you are
melting creamsicle creation, you only mess her up
but she says she can see autumn in you, she can see
oversized sweaters and halloween
you have always been unsure sand underfoot and
she made your childhood into candy corn
and sweet-smelling candles and
ticker tape parades
you should have been warning-sign,
danger lights and she doesn’t even know
about the life that she saved
she holds your hand tight, begs you to come with,
you stand awkwardly outside her circle of friends
and watch her deep-sky smile. you think the only reason
people know you is because she makes you
the happiest you’ve ever been
but goddamn did you fuck up hard
when you fell for your best friend.
When my head hurt
You said you’d always be there.
Lately you weren’t but the stars were and now I only talk to them when I’m depressed and heartbroken
About my highs, and my lows
Then I find myself again
under the constellations,
Wondering how I ended up here
Crying, and telling them
how much you’ll always mean to me,
How much i wish you could be here with me and how hard it is
to live without you.
I sob more, until I eventually have to get up and face the sun again. A.G. (via cherryb1ossom)
"why do you always do that?" he whispered,
sad blue eyes in the darkness, arms almost
around me. “why whenever someone compliments you
do you always pretend like you don’t deserve it?”
i shrugged and burrowed closer to him.
i felt his heart quicken.
"i’m worried about you," he whispered, "i think you’re
in a really bad place.”
i kissed him before he figured out the rest of me.
i think he fell in love. he put his heart in my hand and i remember staring at it for a long time.
i also remember when it dropped.
my hands cant hold things, you know.
they shake a lot.
do you ever get in those moods where you don’t feel like reading and you don’t feel like being on the internet and you don’t feel like watching a show and you don’t feel like sleeping and you don’t feel like existing in general
BUT YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING.It’s in words
I keep listening to the same songs over and over and over and over and over again. I can’t stop because why would I ever want to. It amplifies the sadness in my heart so that any thought of him causes tears to envelop my heart. My body. My mind. It’s as though my life is caught in an eternal Purgatory, to wait for him, because I know he will never come. We are cut off from each other. I can only hope that our love will not.